


Are You There God? It's Me, Kent

by lizardsonline



Series: Librarian AU [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Librarian AU, M/M, Original Male Character - Freeform, Professor Jack Zimmermann, kent and bitty friendship, mention of infidelity, my shitty attempt at slowburn thats not slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26488531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardsonline/pseuds/lizardsonline
Summary: Kent never understood the appeal of making out in the stacks. The way he saw it, making out in the stacks was akin to making out in a church, or like, your grandmothers house. It was just the last sexy place he could think of.Prequel fic to "Of Librarians and Men", or the story of how Kent and Diego meet!
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle & Kent "Parse" Parson, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Kent "Parse" Parson & Kent Parson's Cat, kent parson/ OMC
Series: Librarian AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925698
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. The Ironic Comedy

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly finished, and I'll be posting each chapter on Tuesdays.

Kent never understood the appeal of making out in the stacks. The way he saw it, making out in the stacks was akin to making out in a church, or like, your grandmothers house. It was just the least sexy place he could think of. The stacks were a place of peace, quiet, and not making out. Re-stacking books after some young couple choose to get raunchy in the middle of the “Analytics” section was decidedly not how Kent wanted to spend his late afternoon. It wasn’t that Kent hated shelving books. Re-shelving was calming, methodical. And he was a librarian for Pete’s sake, shelving books was the stereotypical image of all librarians did. He knew better of course. Librarians were valuable sources of knowledge and resources to the community at large.

  
So, no, Kent didn’t hate the situation, but it was simply how the situation came about that irked him. Kent had been minding his own business, doing his job. Kent never expected that leading some students to where they could find some materials their professors had suggested would end up this way. Yet, when he had turned the corner to the back of the Analytics section, Kent, and the students, ran into two of their classmates, who had yet to noticed their audience, while making out against a shelf entitled “Mathematical History etc”.

  
The not so quiet expletives Kent let slip alerted the couple, causing the one whose back was against the bookshelf to back into it suddenly and forcefully, knocking all of the materials on the top shelf to the floor, and subsequently knocking the shelf into the wall behind it. This caused the wall to be damaged, the all the books on said shelf to fall to the floor unceremoniously and the mood to sour. 

_This is going to be a fun afternoon._ He thought to himself sarcastically. 

  
Kent always wondered why, out of all the sections of the library, was his section the one that got defiled by horny couples the most? Why not the “Adult Literature” section? Or Romance? This was the second time this month! As excited as Kent got for science, math, and math history, it was not _that_ type of excited.

  
He hefted the last book he had to replace, a copy of “ _Euclid's Elements_ ”, onto the top shelf. Kent pondered possible solutions to the horny teen problem. Perhaps a life-size cutout of Issac Newton would sufficiently turn people off, maybe Pythagoras. Beards were always a turn off for Kent anyway.

  
Kent’s cock-blocking-library-saving-thoughts were interrupted by an announcement on the PA system: “Attention patrons, the Providence Community Library is now closing, please bring all materials to the check out desk at this time, thank you, and have a wonderful day. The library will reopen tomorrow, Saturday, at 10am.”

  
The realization that the workday was almost over immersed Kent in a wave of relief. It wasn’t that Kent disliked his job. Quite the contrary, Kent loved his job. He loved books and knowledge and providing valuable resources to the community, but one can only re stack an entire section of books on the history of mathematics so many times after horny college kids knock it over before one gets fed up.

  
Kent rolled the now empty cart back to the storage area to finish closing up the library. As he walked back, he picked up books that had been left astray in the aisles, placing them on the card for them to be re-shelved in the morning by the Saturday staff.

  
Once he finished rounding up the stray books, he stowed the cart, and pushed through a door labeled “Library Staff Only”, walking through to find his belongings where he had left them this morning, in the break room. He grabbed his satchel where he found a note on top from his supervisor-Johnson: _“Keep your head up. What you need is gonna hit you soon - wink wink.”_ The _‘wink wink’_ had literally been written out.

 _What the hell did that mean?_ Kent thought to himself. His boss could be so weird sometimes. He scrubbed his hand over the face and threw the note out, not giving it another thought.  
Kent shifted his thoughts to what the rest of the evening looked like for him. His plans included going to the gym, ordering Thai food, and watching a movie with his cats, sad and alone.

  
_God my life is depressing. At least I’m still young and hot-ish._ Was all he could think.

  
Kent’s downtime had significantly increased in the months following his breakup with James. James kept most of his friend group in the breakup but, fuck them anyway. The unfortunate side effect of the said breakup and newfound free rime was that, outside of work, Kent had always hated downtime, particularly downtime when he was alone. He used to prefer being with people, doing things, which is why he and James had worked so well. The both of them were social butterflies, having met in a club. They had danced together all night, and then talked until the sun rose. The pair were always going everywhere, doing everything, meeting new people all the time. Unfortunately for Kent, on one night when he was stuck at the library for a youth program, James went out and met a new person he liked more than Kent, enough to not even inform the person that James was in fact, in a relationship. Thus, that chapter of Kent’s life came to a bitter and unsatisfying close. But not all books have a happy satisfying ending. Since then Kent really hadn’t felt like going out much.

  
He chased the bitter thoughts from his mind. Whatever, he didn’t care. He didn’t need anyone. He had plenty of company. He had Kit and Purrs. Plenty of company that wouldn’t cheat on him and then steal his favorite hoodie after.

The sun was setting and cast a pink hue over the entryway to the library. Rows of books became encased in the rose light as Kent made his way past to the side entryway which led out into the employee parking lot. As much as he loved the library, today had just been too much. He just wanted to get home. However, his attempt to leave work quickly was interrupted, by a flurry of blonde hair checking him through the doorway onto the sidewalk, not doing any real damage to himself, just to his pride.  
“Jesus what the hell Bits!” Kent sat on the sidewalk in disarray and looked up to the culprit, none other than Eric Richard Bittle, or Bitty/Bits to many of the library patrons and staff. His worst (read:best) friend.

  
“C’mon here Parse,” Bitty offered out a hand and brought Kent to a standing position “I barely brushed you, you big baby.”

  
“Like hell that check could land you 2 in the sin bin easily” Kent scoffed and brushed off his chinos. Both Parse and Bitty had played hockey for Brown back in their college days. It was there that they had met and become friends. However, it was not all roses and smiles. Both men had a grudging distaste for each other at first, only to have it melt away when they drunkenly came out to each other at a party late in their first semester. After that, the two of them became inseparable, always spending time together on or off ice. Kent taught Bittle how to take a check and Bittle taught him how to do his fancy footwork. Their bond went as far as both of them falling in love with library sciences together, after one eventful semester of the two of them taking what they thought would be a throw away class. Fate would have them both working at the Providence library after parting ways for their respective grad school studies.

  
“For real though, I needed to grab your attention” Bitty stood in front of Kent, hands on his hips.

  
“Calling my name wouldn’t suffice? You needed to tackle me to the ground?”

  
“Sorry I was just a tad excited. But anyway, I wanted to ask you again if you wanted to come out tonight with Lardo and me. It’s half-off door entry and the two of us have been dying for you to get out of the house for months.”

  
“Sorry Bits I’m busy-”

  
“Kenneth Vincent Parson.” Bitty crossed his arms in faux anger. “I have known you for literal years. I know for a fact that all you have on your calendar tonight is drinking alone with your cats. Which is literally almost as sad as the fact that you actually wrote it down in your calendar. ”

  
“I just don’t really feel like going out-”

  
“And I’m heterosexual.” Kent frowned. Bitty’s snark shut him up right in the middle of his reply. “You’re afraid to go out after what happened with he-who-will-not-be-named -"

"He's my ex-boyfriend not Lord Voldemor-" 

"Don't you interrupt me when I'm motivating you Parson" Bitty cut back, " _as I was saying_ , I know you're afraid of rejection. But I also know you want to get out there. You’re just afraid of how he hurt you but you can’t keep letting him take up space rent free in your mind. He was an asshole and if there’s one thing my momma taught me, it’s that you ought not let assholes ruin your life.”

  
Kent’s frown broke into a smile, laughing. “Like hell did Mama Bittle ever say the word ‘assholes’ in front of you. But nah Bits I dunno.”

"I will buy you shots of tquila for the first hour." 

Kent’s resolve finally broke. “Fiiiine. I’ll go.

Bitty beamed. “Lord I’ll buy you a whole handle of Patrón if thats what it takes to get you to stop sulking you to stop sulking like a sad clown and come out. Come by my place round 9, and we can all head out together.”

  
“Isn’t that past your man’s bed time?”

  
Dr. Jack Zimmermann, Bitty’s fiancé, was a history professor at Brown. He taught the histories of war and their impact on cultural phenomenon at the time. The two had met while Eric was finishing his masters at Brown and Kent was finishing his at NYU. Jack had been speaking to one of his fellow professors, Dr. Atley, one day while finalizing his dissertation; when Eric came in to ask a question during office her hours. Just like with Kent, it took a bit for the two to get along. Jack though Eric's excessive use of baked goods to pass assignments was unprofessional in an academic environment, and Eric thought Jack was a grump and "just about the rudest, handsomest, most irksome man" he'd ever met in his life. But somewhere in between passive agressive emails and feigned glances, the harsh exterior of their initial relationships melted away, leaving the playful and loving relaitonship which remained. 

  
“Jack is actually at an event on campus tonight and won’t be home until later, so we won’t be disturbing his old man bedtime routine.” Bitty hollered over his shoulder as he headed in the opposite direction towards his own vehicle.

  
“Fine. See you at nine” Kent called to his friend while turning heel and walking to his car. As he approached the Sudan, he felt a mix of emotions for his first night out in literal months: apprehension, anxiety, but most importantly, excitement. He had friends who cared about him.

 _Fuck James._


	2. Heart of Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We still have yet to meet Diego, but sometimes, waffles are a priority. 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter, college is hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I remember I can write

Sunlight peeked through the curtains of a window that was definitely Not Kent’s. Namely, because Kent didn't have curtains on his window, he had the cheapest blinds that worked because who cares about blinds? The sunlight was aggravating his splitting headache, so he immediately shut his eyes. The realization that Kent was not in his apartment worried him as he tried to recall memories of the previous night. Going shot for shot with Larissa past 2am was about the last thing he could remember. 

His dizzying thoughts were interrupted when he realized he was Not alone. A shift above him made him realize there was someone on his back. Fuck, had he gone home with someone and not realized it? 

He tried to take a mental checklist of everything he could feel without actually opening his eyes. A futon (he assumed), sunlight (a pain), his clothes (that was a relief), and a small body on top of him (yikes). 

Just as Kent was about to open his eyes and figure out what the hell was going on, the body above him belched. He knew that belch: Larissa. 

She groaned, shifting, presumably to get off of him, he hoped. 

“Fuck Parson your back is mad uncomfy. Why did you let me sleep on it instead of my bed.”

“Why did you let me go shot for shot with you at 2am?” 

“Touché” She rolled off his back, stood up and cracked her back. Traces of glitter were still clinging to her face and arms from the night before. Her hair was not safe either, with smatterings of the sparkles still clinging to her hairline as well. Bits of glitter fell free from her form as she smacked both hands onto her cheeks. 

“Augh okay. Caffeine time.” She walked away from Kent, presumably towards the well stocked kitchen. 

Kent groaned and pushed himself off the couch. Standing up, he cracked his back. 

_Gross I feel old_ , Kent’s internal monologue whined. 

He knew was going to be sore this week, and not in the good way. Not that Kent had felt that way since James. He stretched his back out one more time, and followed the scent of brewing coffee, making his way into the kitchen. 

Through the doorway, he found Lardo perched on the island with a steaming mug in her hand. Bittle was nowhere in sight. 

He immediately went over to the coffee maker, where a steaming pot sat, freshly brewed. He reached into the cabinet to grab a particularly garish mug covered in rainbow and fire emojis, the words “Flaming Homosexual” emblazoned on the side. Kent purchased the mug on a whim and gifted it to Bittle years ago while they were still in college, mostly as a gag. It was by far the ugliest piece in Bittle’s immaculately organized kitchen. Still, Kent appreciated that Bittle had kept it this whole time. He poured himself a cup.

“Bits still asleep?” Kent mused groggily.

Lardo took a long drag of her coffee, only the tone of her voice alluding to her massive hangover. “Yep”

“He must be really hung over if the smell of coffee didn’t wake him up.” 

“He’s.... recovering.” 

Kent and Lardo turned their heads towards the kitchen doorway, where Bittle’s fiancé walked through the door. 

Kent had originally not been the biggest fan of Dr. Jack Zimmermann. There were a plethora of reasons, mostly because Kent was there for Bitty the entire time Jack had been an ass to him. Bitty would call Kent on his way back to his apartment, ranting about how rude the Canadian had been that day, what snide comment had made, or how he hadn’t held the door for Bittle and so on and so forth. Bittle would Skype Kent on the weekends and rant about how rude and handsome but mostly rude this man was. Even if he was good-looking, Kent still had reservations when he first learned that they had gotten together. It had taken two shovel talks and quite a bit of time before Kent even considered warming up to Jack. Since then, the two have more or less made their peace, save for snide comments every once in a while. 

“I don’t think he’s going to be functioning any time soon.” Jack noted, with fond familiarity. He walked over to where Kent was leaning over the counter next to the coffee pot, face pressed against the cool granite. Kent grunted and moved to press his face into the granite of the kitchen island, giving Jack the space he needed to get a mug for their hungover baker. 

Lardo set down her mug as Jack finished pouring a cup for his fiancé. “Okay so, I’m hungover, I want waffles, and I’m not waiting on Bits to nurse his hangover. Wake his ass up we’re getting Jerry’s.” 

“Fuck yeah, I could absolutely fuck up some Jerry’s waffles right now. Lards if I wasn’t gay as hell I’d marry you.” Kent gestured to Jack “C’mon, Moose man go get your lover boy.” 

“Alright alright” Jack put his hands up in faux surrender. “I’ll go get him out of bed.” 

~ _X_ ~ 

Jerry's was _the_ quintessential brunch spot for early morning commuters and drunk college students alike. It was the perfect spot for three hungover librarians to nurse their hangovers while eating oversized, decently priced breakfast foods.

“Augh I hate and love y’all for making me get out of bed, but I could make love to those whoopie pies, lord I cannot wait.” Bitty gestured less dramatically than he normally would, but just dramatic enough that Lardo rolled her eyes. 

Jack didn’t comment, but made a face of bemused recognition. 

Kent slumped in his booth seat, pressed into the corner by Lardo. His sunglasses hung low on his nose, meant to block the bright light that streamed in through the window. 

“Bit’s lower your voice. Mistakes were made last night and not the fun kind.” Kent pressed his face against the cool of the window. “How did my hangover get _worse_ ” 

“Because you haven’t drunk any water today. C’mon, drink up.” Lardo pushed a tall glass full of ice water towards him. 

Kent picked up the glass and chugged. “Bits you seem chipper as always, and I haven't seen you drink an ounce.” 

“Sex does wonder for the head in the morning.” Bitty set down his iced coffee and smirked. 

Jack blushed but said nothing. 

“When the hell did you have sex? You were too hungover to get out of bed this morning! Jack said so!” Kent questioned incredulously. 

“I said he was recovering.” Jack didn’t make eye contact with anyone, but sipped at his coffee. 

“Aughh gross” Lardo and Kent both made comical gagging noises. 

“Ugh Bits you lucky bastard it’s. God, what I wouldn’t give to have a good fuck.” Kent loudly lamented, throwing his hands in the air.

It was at that moment their server brought out the food for the table: two mountainous piles of waffles, piled high with whipped cream and fruit, a plate of chocolate whoopie pies, and a heaping omelette, piled high with salsa and vegetables.

“I’m not responding to that until after I eat these” Bitty gestured to the whoppie pies which had been placed in front of him. 

“Fuck you” Kent quipped. 

“At least I’m getting some.”


End file.
